I Don’t Want to Learn English: What to Do If You Have No Motivation

"Mom, please, not today! I hate English!"
"I’m already over 40, I’m bad with languages and my memory doesn’t work!"
"I’m already stressed, I can’t deal with grammar and exercises right now!"

Sound familiar? Many people say this — children, coworkers, and even our own inner voice. You need to learn the language, but “have to” alone doesn’t create desire. What should you do if you have no motivation but still have to study?

Today, English is like a digital passport — it opens doors to universities, international companies, professional communities, and sometimes simply to a normal life in a new country.

Maybe you're an adult who needs English for work or an immigrant in a new environment. Or maybe your child refuses to learn English because it’s “boring” and “pointless.” In any case, the same question arises: how do you find motivation?

Why don’t we want to learn a language?

Motivation is a subtle thing, especially when it’s about obligation, not a hobby. Many people remember school English lessons full of memorizing irregular verbs, and that’s where their interest ends. For a child, a foreign language is a meaningless set of words unrelated to real life. For an adult, it’s just another task on a never-ending to-do list. And for immigrants, it often comes along with stress, culture shock, and the overall fatigue of adapting to a new reality.

All of these are completely normal human reactions. But the problem is that waiting for the moment when “you just feel like it” is pointless. That moment may never come. Often, motivation isn’t something you find — it’s something you have to create, and that takes some effort.

How does motivation arise?

Psychologists identify two types of motivation: external and internal.

External – we learn a language because we “have to”: for exams, work, a residence permit. Internal – we learn because it’s “interesting, useful, and enjoyable” to us personally.

The secret to sustainable motivation is turning external motivation into internal. In other words, transform “have to” into “want to.” Not “learn English out of fear of getting fired,” but “learn to feel confident in meetings and grow professionally.” Not “study because the teacher said so,” but “because I want to understand what Taylor Swift is singing about.”

How do you do this? Start connecting the language to your personal interests and enjoyment — not to obligation. It’s a mindset shift that allows you not only to keep studying, but to actually start enjoying it.

“My advice to students is always to start small and link each step to your personal story,” says Elena Perez, an English expert and head of an online school. “When you weave every new word or grammar point into your own life, you’re not just inventing examples — you’re helping your brain remember it better. Plus, motivation increases, because our own life is far more interesting to us than abstract Anton and Maria.”

English is not a lesson — it’s a part of life

One of the most common mistakes is treating the language like a school subject — difficult and boring, full of memorization, tests, and grammar. That quickly kills motivation. But language is not just rules and exercises — it’s a living, practical tool for communication.

One of the best ways to regain interest and motivation is to integrate the language into your everyday life and surround yourself with English. This could be your favorite songs, shows, blogs, recipes, podcasts, or games.

Imagine: you’re not “studying English,” just watching a show in the original — and suddenly familiar words begin to form meaningful sentences. Or you’re looking up a cheesecake recipe and understand it without translation. That’s how real learning happens — lively, engaging, and natural.

If your child doesn’t want to learn a foreign language

It’s important to understand that for a child, anything abstract or delayed in time doesn’t make sense. Arguments like “it’ll be useful later” or “you need it for your career” don’t work. It’s much more effective to speak their language:

— Want to know what your favorite songs are about? Watch Harry Potter without subtitles? Play Roblox or Minecraft with kids from all over the world? That’s why you need English! It’s also important that learning doesn’t cause stress. English can be part of a game, a quest, a cartoon.

“Kids learn a language better when they feel interested, not pressured,” says experienced English teacher Katya B. “It’s important to connect the language to their daily life — through games, cartoons, and friends.”

Parental involvement helps a lot. Learn together: watch movies, read books. And always give praise — not for correctness, but for effort and curiosity. That motivates far more than formal grades.

If an adult resists learning

Adult learners most often “don’t want” to learn a language because of fear or self-doubt. What if I fail? What if I make a lot of mistakes? What if I look stupid and people laugh?

As a result, people avoid it: “I’m just not talented,” “I don’t have time,” “It’s not for me,” “I don’t like it.” But the truth is, anyone can learn a foreign language at any age.

If English is needed for work — start by learning what you can immediately apply: business vocabulary, presentations, email phrases. If it’s for travel — begin with airport and restaurant phrases. Set a clear, achievable goal, and move toward it step by step. Don’t try to speak like a native — the main thing is to be understood.

If you’re an immigrant and feel too exhausted

This may be one of the hardest situations. Moving to a new country is a huge stress, especially when no one speaks your native language. In this state, even a short dialogue can be exhausting, and homesickness only adds to the feeling of isolation.

It’s important to remember — no one expects perfect English from you. No one expects you to learn it in a month. Start with the basics: how to ask for directions, greet neighbors, explain to a doctor what’s bothering you.

Look for support: free courses, speaking clubs, volunteer tutors. Talking to different people helps with adaptation. And most importantly — don’t set unrealistic expectations for yourself. Don’t scold yourself for slow progress. You’re not just learning a language — you’re rebuilding your life.

“Your goal is not to speak like a native. Your goal is to speak better than you did a month ago!” says Ksenia, a tutor and manager at the online school Skype-Language.

Tips from experienced teachers:

1. Consistency is more important than duration. 15 minutes a day is better than 2 hours once a week.
   
   
2. Speak and read aloud — it activates your "speaking engine."
   
   
3. Don’t be afraid of mistakes. Allow yourself to make them! Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone grows through them.
   
   
4. Track your progress. Keep a journal of your language achievements — it helps you see how far you’ve come.
   
   
5. Set mini-goals. Today — learn 5 phrases. Tomorrow — understand a song.
   
   
6. Learn what interests you. Let it be vocabulary about hobbies, sports, movies, or cooking.
   
   
7. Don’t forget to praise yourself for your efforts!
   
   

Instead of a conclusion

Learning a foreign language is less about ability and more about motivation — motivation that needs to be nurtured and fueled, finding new meaning and real-life connections.

English is not “just a foreign language.” It’s an opportunity to:

— understand your favorite movies,
— get a promotion at work,
— feel confident abroad,
— be understood and heard.

And maybe this article is where your journey begins — or your child’s journey. The road to a new chapter in life always starts with a first step.

Take one small action today:

• Find a short video in English on a topic you enjoy (sports, art, cooking).
• Listen without subtitles.
• Write down three words you understood.
• Repeat them out loud.
• That’s the beginning. Small, but important.
• If you’re ready to move forward — we’re here to support you.

At Skype-Language.com, you can learn English (or any foreign language) with teachers who don’t just explain rules. They know how to motivate, listen to your goals, and choose materials based on your interests.

Want to learn conversational English through shows and songs? No problem.
Need business vocabulary just for work? We’ll offer a suitable course.
Child doesn’t want to study? We’ll engage them with interactive materials.

We teach children and adults — including those living abroad who face language barriers. With us, learning a language becomes not a chore, but an exciting and understandable process that brings real results.

Don’t wait for the “perfect moment.” Start small — and very soon you’ll see: a foreign language is not a barrier, but a bridge to new people and opportunities.